The Black Girl Dressing Room Blues….

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The Black Girl Dressing Room Blues….

So I go to this denim sale out here in the ‘A’ a couple days ago. I was too excited…why am I excited? I have no clue. Because clearly alls I'm gonna do is go there and spend too much money on jeans that I don’t really need. I’m always looking for that perfect pair of jeans. The ones that hug your ass just right, but you can still breath in…the pair that you can wear flip flops, red bottoms, or flats with; the pair of jeans that men appreciate on you…WHY IS THAT PAIR OF JEANS SO DAMN HARD TO FIND?!?!?

Its cause I'm black!

LOL

SERIOUSLY THOUGH

Let me tell you about the Black Girl Dressing Room Blues! Ok, now I’m a size 4…I may not be a size 4 in the hips but I am in the waist. Been this size for like the last 10 years…here’s the problem…MY ASS & HIPS HAVE NOT BEEN THE SAME SIZE FOR THE LAST 10YEARS!!! Ok, that’s all fine & dandy. If I were to buy jeans my true hip size I would look ridiculous. All my fabulousity would be right out the door. So, I have to do the jeans squeeze. I put my jeans on like I put on stockings. My jeans are always too small in the ass and waaaay too big in the waist.

So anywho, while I'm at the denim sale I’m trying on sizes 25 – 28. Now clearly I couldn’t get the 25’s up past my ankles so I don’t know why I played myself (I aint been working out that much!). Some 26’s were too small, some were too big. Some of the 27’s fit cool and some were too big. WTF? Now I’m watching the white girls try on the 25’s and they’re good. Then I see the Asian girls trying on 24’s and they’re all good. But I look around this make shift dressing room and all the black girls are in there struggling. I mean some are laying down on the floor, one girl had her friend try to button the pants for her, and another girl (bless her heart) clearly needed to be at Ashley Stewart (that’s not a dis, its a fact)…the true fact is, there does not seem to be any high fashion jeans made for the Mocha Girls! I literally had to walk over to “Ashley Stewart” and tell her to stop. Her fake ass friend wasn’t gonna say anything (clearly one of those girls that wants to keep her friends looking wack to boost herself up…ugh…hate those hoes)

Anyway…

I simply told “Ashley”, “those aren’t the jeans for you!” I told her that she should shy away from Low Rise and the True Religion brand all together. “They didn’t make those jeans for us girl”. I had to get my “sista-girl” tone on, you know, to let her know that I come in peace.

Anyway, her hating friend told her she looked good and that I didn’t know what I was talking about. And then she gave me the “move skinny bitch” look. So I backed up. I aint got no time to be fighting fat girls in the dressing room. I was still squeezing into my own damn jeans….

All in all,

What can a Mocha girl do to get the perfect pair of jeans for my body type? Clearly I'm not about to do the Apple Bottoms, or anything else along that line…. not that I don’t support the “urban” brands, but I feel like I'm waaaaay to grown to have damn apple on my ass.

That’s all…

Another Dating Blog will be posted soon!