AAAAWKWAAARD

Ok, so my girl Diamond tells me that she has a comedian friend that she’d like to hook me up with for the BDC (blind date challenge). So naturally I’m like “bring em on”. Now when I said “bring em on” I didn’t mean have him show up to the office unexpectedly on a bad hair, loafer shoe wearing day…

Whatever, my fabulousness trumped all teedness (teed means wack or tore up)…
So Diamond and…we’ll call this well known guy “G”…Diamond & G walk over to my office (aka cubicle) and it’s full of women. [Side note, it was Oprah’s Favorite Things episode so we were all watching in my cube]. G being a comedian, opens with a joke about the employees at BET watching Oprah, hence the content on the network. ‘Great Open’ I'm thinking. He introduces himself to me and all the girls and then the awkwardness begins.

Diamond for whatever reason literally runs away. Mimi pulls my intern away by saying “Come on Jennifer, lets go do that thing”. Francine says “I’m going to the other side of the building, no, the bathroom, yeah that’s right, I’m going to the bathroom”. WTF?!?!
This was THE most obvious and embarrassing moment. G and I just look at each other like, oookaaay.

Our graceless conversation continues about absolutely nothing. Our energy is now mixed with attraction yet an overwhelming sense of discomfort. Naturally he bails out. And apparently Diamond was waiting in the wings because she miraculously showed back up at my cube wanting ALL the details. THERE IS NO DETAILS DIAMOND…

All in all, there was no number exchange but word on the street (the street being Diamond) is that he thinks I’m “mad cute”. Ok Diamond, we are going to have to try this again. HOOK IT UP!

Who knew blind dating was so hard?!

Blind dates are currently pending with friends of Angela, Francine, and Carlyle

SECOND CHANCE

I have received a few phone calls and emails regarding Jake. It seems that some of you feel I should give this dude a second chance...HMPH!

Well, I was completely done with Jake... then he called and wanted to know why I haven't called him, etc, etc. So me being a snappy/sassy person, I naturally asked him why he was on the phone with me when he should be mending his relationship with the ex. Jake was so thrown off and confused that all my anger went out the door and this situation became funnier than the Vitametavegimin episode of I Love lucy.
Jake tells me that he never had plans of hooking up with his ex...it was a simple lunch...she's a great girl...its over...blah...blah...blah...
Who knows if he was feeding me the bull sh*t? But the tart taste of bull sh*t from a man is an all too familiar taste...this tasted a little different.
So whatever, I have given dude another chance and our last couple of dates have consisted of late night walks down Rodeo (drive, not road), poetry, and foot massages. So I guess Jake is still a contender.
But the Challenge is still on people!

*Shout out to the Dabnis Brickey Movement!!*

DATE #2

So my friend Shea introduced me to this guy named...let's just call him *Jake (that's right! No more real names will be used in this blog...we'll call it the D.Chaplin rule). Anywho, Jake was great. He made me laugh loud and he challenged me musically. Oh yeah, Jake is a rapper/actor (who will definitely remain nameless...so don't call me to ask). We talked Biggie, Slick Rick, Miles, and Maze. My kind of convo! So Jake invites me to his private listening session of his new album. I went. His music was great. We laughed. We clowned. And I left.

A few days passed, and after a bunch of silly text messages all ending in smiley faces we had an official 1st date. Our date started at the poetry lounge. Jake performed a phenomenal poem about God knows what and then we proceeded to watch the rest of the slammers. After the lounge we hit Jerry's Deli for late night fries and more conversation. Everything was great. We hugged, we held hands, along w/ other corny gestures (no kisses though) and our date ended. And then we sent text messages about absolutely nothing for the rest of the night...I'm thinking, what a great guy!!!!

Ok, enough of the BS...let's fast forward to yesterday! I get a message from him saying "Babe (that's right, Babe. Our great conversations graduated us to pet names in a very short time...Don't Judge) Babe, I had an eventful day. Call me". So naturally I'm thinking, oh he must have had a great studio session or he's booked for a film...negative. I call this Negro back and do you know what he told me?! "So I had lunch with my ex today", I just shook my head as I stood in the dairy section of Ralph's grocery store and prepared myself for the bull sh*t that I was about to be fed. "So I had lunch with my ex today. You know now that we're not arguing, I realize that's she's not such a bad person..." And blah blah blah blah blah!!! I wanted to say, "Well I had sex with mine 2 weeks ago and that doesn't make him a good person!!" [Sorry Mommy]

Shea, next time you decide to hook me up w/ someone, please make sure they are COMPLETELY single or at least ready to be. I'm to fab to be a rebound!

NEEEEXXXXXXXXXT!!!